Youth Soccer brings great joy and challenges to players. David Gomez, Jr.'s new column explores what it is like to be a parent in this world.

Selecting a Club

It may seem easy. You have a Competitive Club Soccer organization near your home or office. Why not simply go there? This may turn out to be a good choice, but be sure you make an informed decision. If you recall from my article on preparing your player for tryouts, you’ve seen there are many clubs. Keep in mind that many clubs have several teams at a given age group. I’ve seen from one to five teams for the same age bracket with certain clubs. I say, the more the merrier. You have more choices for your player.

Now, there are many things to consider when looking for a club and therefore a team. I’ve heard parent comments such as, “Why is your daughter playing for THAT club?” This sometimes comes from someone who perceives that specific club as a “small” one. Sometimes "small" is better, sometimes not, and it all depends upon what you are looking for and what you and your player's goals are.

“Big” vs. “Small” Club

I’m always curious as to what makes a club “Big." I imagine it’s the notoriety that it has which make the club “Big.” Some may say that it’s the number of teams the club has. Some may say it’s the number of national championships the club has won. Some may say it’s the longevity of its tenure as an organization. However, once you get into the club scene, you’ll see which ones you think as a “Big” club. It doesn't matter where you live - there are always those "Big" clubs.

Whatever you use to measure the “Bigness" or "Smallness" of a club, you’ll see there are some teams at a given age group who do better than others.

Remember, a team’s success can simply come from the coach and the ability of the players on that squad.

Now, if your player is just starting out at the U8 level there is usually no dominance. In this age group, teams have not played league and therefore there are no rankings. There has been no State Cup winner.

So, is there an advantage to playing at a “Big” club or isn’t there?

It really depends upon what you are looking for.

For my family, and from my perspective, I would argue that there isn’t an advantage at any age - with a small exception. If at the age of U14 and beyond you want your player to experience truly traveling like a collegiate or professional player, then look to a club who has a team playing at the Elite Clubs National League (ECNL) (http://www.eliteclubsnationalleague.com/).

Once again, this is for the future if your player and you decide to go that route.

I’d say, depending on how you measure, my daughter has played for and against both “Big” and “Small” clubs. I can tell you without a doubt it has not made a difference for her development one way or the other. What has made a difference for her are her coaching and her teammates.

If you find a good technical coach like my daughter had for the past two seasons, then your player will develop. If your player has good players around them, then they will develop more quickly also.

You need to find the team that is right for your player, regardless of the club it is associated with. You’ll find that sometimes entire teams, and for that matter clubs, move to other clubs. It is simply part of the deal with club soccer.

Playing Time Philosophy

All Directors of Coaching (DOC) at all clubs will tell you that playing time is earned, not given.

I agree with this to a degree. When you’re talking about 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and even 12 year olds there should be some expectation, especially at the U9-U12 age groups, for an adequate amount of playing time. Now, this can be argued by many that at the club level it’s no longer recreational. I agree. When talking about a player who is that young, certain considerations should be taken for their psychological development when considering appropriate playing time.

If you recall, you get better at football by touches, touches, touches. I’m not simply referring to training touches during practice. They are important, but game touches simply cannot be simulated. At my daughter’s first club, the DOC and I were in agreement that at the younger ages players simply need a decent amount of playing time.

Now what is a decent amount? Well, this will depend on your player, the coach, and the teammates. It is really highly dependent on the coach. The DOC has no real bearing on what the coach does in games. It is the discretion of the coach. As one coach told me, “If a coach wants to give a player time, they will.” I would say at the U9-10 ages you should shoot for 50% playing time for your player at a minimum. If you’re not seeing this, then speak to the coach. Not immediately after a match where your player maybe played 10% or less of a game. Wait a day or two and cool off and then have this conversation. 

As your player progresses in club soccer and competition increases, you may expect a bit more or less. If you see less, then one of a few things is happening.  Your player maybe at the wrong level and is not ready for the speed and skill required for the team. For example, your player is playing on a gold team and sees the pitch very little, if at all. Then consider another gold team or possibly a lower level.

As your player matures (U13-14 and beyond), your player competing for playing time is more prevalent and appropriate. Don’t be afraid to be direct with the coach on the subject of playing time, specifically with your player as the context. Ask how they see your player fitting on the team, and what should be your expectation for the amount of playing time your player should see.

Ability to Move Within a Club

You may want to consider a club with more than one team at your player’s age group. This gives you the flexibility of your player seeing different coaching styles and philosophies. It also gives your player options for more playing time as a guest player for a sister team in tournaments when they are short handed.

Other considerations are that some clubs have multiple teams by design. They will have three teams at every age group. This is designed to have an A, B, and C team from which the coaches at that age group will slot your player for the appropriate level of play year-to-year. This, too, gives your player some options while still keeping with the same club.

Now, there are clubs which have multiple teams at an age group, but there is no real system or A, B, C, etc. The coaches operate each team as an independent entity. There is no means of slotting a player year-to-year. It is simply a grouping of teams at the same age group. There is nothing wrong with this either. However, it is a different system. This type of club does provide your player with options also.

Now, I made a mistake with my daughter years ago. She was with a club which had an A and a B team, so to speak. We were with the B team. After League Cup, the A team coach offered my daughter a spot on the team for State Cup and into next season. My daughter was doing very well with her current team. I should not have given her the option to switch, due to her being only 8 years old. However, I was flattered by my daughter being offered a spot on the A team. My ego played a part in this, I’ll admit. However, she had a great coach and great teammates. My daughter when told of this was excited and wanted to take the opportunity.

We felt that the other team was better suited for our daughter, since she shined on our team. We saw the skills and competition the other team was playing and felt this would further her development. However, keep in mind that a stronger team is just that. There are many strong players on that team. Your player may or may not be ready to compete at that level. Physically they may be ready, but don’t forget the mental aspect.

I should not have allowed it for many reasons. The first reason I shouldn’t have allowed it is that with a club team your player makes a commitment through State or National Cup. We had not met that criterion. Secondly, I should not have allowed it because as the saying goes “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” Well, my daughter had a good thing, and we should have left it at that. Lesson learned the hard way.

Listen to Your Player

Listening to your player on what they like and don’t like about a team, coach, and teammates is important. My daughter is now old enough to see when she feels right with a group and a coach. Just the other day she was training with a team, and I asked her how it went. She said, “Dad, I don’t know, but it just doesn’t feel right. The team and coach are great, but I just don’t feel at ease with them.” This is coming from a 12 year-old.

Sometimes you have to observe and dig a bit deeper. This is especially true when your player is starting out in club soccer. Watch the practices. See how the coach instructs. See how your player interacts with their teammates. Finally, ask questions of your player about things you observe. Ask open ended questions and just listen. Socrates was very wise in approaching learning by asking questions to get to the truth. The Socratic method will work here in helping you see how your player fits with a team and coach.

The Tail of the Match

Most important of all is keeping a keen eye on things during matches. A game – friendly, tournament, or league – will speak volumes about your player’s fit on a team. Watch and try to be objective. Don’t simply cheer, and most definitely never coach.

See how things progress in a match. See if your player fits with the team from a skills, speed, agility, aggressiveness and desire perspective. Be honest with yourself. If they seem out of sorts all the time, then something is amiss here. Try and find out what the issue is. It may be simply that your player doesn’t click with the team or coach. Or, it may be that your player is not at the same level as this team. In either case, it’s time to seek another opportunity with a different club or team in the same club.

Don’t Laser Focus

Here’s another mistake I made a couple of years back with my daughter. We were leaving a team. I had seen a team in League Cup that had great skills across the board. One player would come out and another in and very little drop off in productivity occurred. I had made my mind up that my daughter was going to try out for this team.

Sounds like a logical thing. I’ve said before that solid foundation of skills by the age of 12-13 is a must if your player is to progress into high school and beyond playing soccer. Well, I thought I had found El Dorado for my daughter. However, what I failed to do was look elsewhere. I should have taken my daughter to a few other clubs/teams for tryouts. I didn’t do that.

So, take a lesson learned here the hard way and even if you have your eye on a club/team look around a bit. There are many. You might be surprised. The one you didn’t think of may be the better fit for your player.

It’s a Team Decision

Another thing to consider is it’s not just your decision. Early on in your player’s career, you may have a stronger vote than they do. However, it is a decision for you, your player and your significant other. Another mistake I’ve made is not consulting with my wife on things early on. I’m an alpha-type who just gets things done. However, this is an oligarchy not an autocracy.

Each of you must be comfortable with the decision. This is a year commitment at the least. That is a long time for you and your family to make to this. I say family because it is a family commitment. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents all get involved in this as you and your player do. So, take the time to make a wise decision, and don’

Enjoy the beautiful game and your child’s love for the game.

Related Article: Parents' Corner on My Journey from Rec to Club Soccer