From a Parent
Posted: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 10:37 am

This letter was submitted to SoccerNation by one of our readers.  It speaks to the heart of loving our players and the sport.  I liked it so much, I wanted to share it with everyone.  Please, take a moment and read S. Churchill's words of sensitive intelligence.

Sports... This is a crazy fact… Some parents become so involved to the point the child does not know if they are playing for themselves or their parents. They ask themselves, 'If I quit, will my parents have a life, will they still love me?' We should always try and remind them that what makes a good kid or person has nothing to do with what happens on the field. What matters is what kind of person you are in your heart and how you treat other people.   Remember parents your child's worth is not measured by what they do on the field. We parents need to grasp the concept that the psyche of a 5-15 year-old can't share the importance of winning a Soccer game. The cost and time (and I hate to say sacrifice) is what some parents think. Well stop and think about this, your kids do not see it that way and if they do they are not even close on being able to process such info and they should not even try!   Organized sports still include far too many parents that are missing the entire idea of how a sport activity should bring a family together. It is sad to see how some are allowing such a trivial thing in life as sports do the opposite and separate families because of the mental and even sometimes physical abuse on little ones.   Try this statistic out (this is a eye opener), out of 30 million American children involved in youth sports 70% quit by age 13.   Many parents are trying to live a fantasy through their children. It's hardly a unique concept.   The future for the kids that are pushed beyond their skill level often puts the kids in therapy by junior high.  We have talked about setting goals and it being OK to have dreams, but that the best part was always the journey itself. And if you never got there, that was OK too. Remember something, you are creating memories and always try to make those some of the best memories in you little ones life. I think it's easier for people who have seen the big picture in sports or reached a high level in a sport. Remember try to keep things fun for the kids.   Any youth sport should always be fun until your child gets a paycheck and the money starts coming in then it's a fun job! Please keep in mind we love eat and breath the sports in our family, I'm as big a promoter of family and sports as humanly possible. This letter is written to promote the sports and pointing out a MAJOR issue and making this more fun for the entire family.   Reading this letter will help to remind me, and hopefully you, why we are doing this sport and what we don't want to do to our best friends (our children). Raising kids to be good, decent, hard working men and women is tough. We are very lucky we have chosen a sport like Soccer to help us raise our children. If you make this sport fun it is impossible to beat soccer. It offers a multitude of life long lessons and is fun to see the entire family commitment that teaches the values of hard work and the positive influences of health and fitness. It is a great way to live.   When you make the step with your children in any sport to go to the higher competitive level we as parents have to realize it is time to let our children understand that giving a 100% is what we are trying to teach them. This is part of being in a high end level of any sport. Like the saying goes "it is not if you win or loose it is how you play the game", and if you loose but gave it your personal best then you are a winner!   Sometime as parents we have to understand that some children are not at an age to have the drive to give it a 100% all the time. We need to try to help them find this drive and step back and support them. Until they do, we do have to remember we are dealing with children and it takes time, some longer than others.   Some children do not and will not ever have the drive and commitment it takes to play at the higher level of play, and that is a tough situation on both the child and the parents. If a parent refuses to see this and continues to push to far it could end in some life long issues for everyone involved.   I'm only writing this out of my of first hand experiences. I'm not a professional I am only trying to help myself and other families to always remember to separate their sports and personal relationships with their children - make it fun, live and love each day with your children.   Thank you S. Churchill